Child Coping/Meditation

The topic of keeping children calm and focused is always relevant, but now as working parents, it is likely in our hands more often than usual.  My children have a lot of energy to spare as I am sure most of yours do as well and parents of young children and toddlers especially understand the new normal has definitely added a certain level of complication to working from home.

I see funny memes on the internet with lizards stuck to Kristen Bell’s head representing the reality of taking video conferencing meetings from home.  It makes me laugh (otherwise I might cry) at the relevance of this image.

It is a challenge, no doubt.  I do not pretend there is an easy fix.  Children need love and support.  Being home with parents who are usually working must be so exciting for them.

Routines help.  It’s true that routinely provides a sense of safety and part of that safety can come from the teaching self-soothing.  This is why I practice various types of meditation with my children on a regular basis.

Children as Empathetic Whirlpools
Children, like most people, are impacted by outside forces.  Emotions can change in an instant from playful to angry.  My four-year-old will hide under the table if I pick up her sister first.  I consider toddlerville emotional boot camp (mostly for the parents).  For me, remaining calm and even throughout my children’s emotions helps me stay grounded and gives me a chance to teach them to guide through their feelings in a healthy and productive way as well.

Pure Feelings
In addition to being in a world where everything is as large as the fourth world in Super Mario Brothers 3, children are dealing with literal, physical, and neurological growing pains.  Neurons that never fired before are suddenly beginning to fire.  New connections are being made.  The body is growing and stretching at a rate that the bones are constantly in flux and in motion.  Ouch!  These kids deserve a medal!  It’s no wonder their feelings are as pure as their love.

The Importance of Learning to Cope Young
Ninety percent of the brain is developed by age five.  Sixty percent in the first six months of life including the more primitive parts of the brain that steer flight, fight, and freeze.  Imagine if, during this tender time, children learn ways to soothe themselves and navigate through intense emotions in order to not only endure changes but also take control of their actions and ultimately reach their goals.  Learning to cope with emotions can help people maintain motivation, increase grit, overcome failure and help a person achieve what they need to keep moving forward.

Children of Working parents
As working parents, our limited time with our children can be considered a disadvantage.  The fact of the matter is, however, children will likely be facing circumstances where they are encouraged to work cooperatively in teams and establish relationships.  Having a support team full of loving adults and consistent children can help children come to their parents for help where needed.  Keeping a close relationship with other caretakers allows parents an opportunity to fill gaps at home and work with children from an objective outside perspective.

Exercise and Activity
Fresh air is important for everyone.  Sun rays provide vitamin D that the body needs decreases depression and set the biological clock to allow children to have a healthy slumber during the correct hours.

I like to mix up my exercise routines with my children: yoga one day, and bike riding the next.  A hike here, a playground (when safe) there.  Mixing up the routine allows for a fresh day but the same physical exertion.

Projects
I like to keep projects around the house that the kids can easily do and keep busy with for five minutes to an hour if they are really interested.  They call the shots.  The nice thing about having them with me, is I get to see what sparks their interest and work with that.  I can also use the fun activity as a reward for less-desired activities.

Coloring books, painting with water, mini canvas painting, blocks, and Lego blocks, are some handy ones that are easy to guide them towards.  I have two of a similar age so I will encourage them to play simple board games with each other as well.

ST(R)EAM (Science, technology, reading, engineering, art, mathematics) activities include:

• Sorting pom-poms by color in respective cups using a tweezer
• Building with blocks that have numbers of units
• Using number matching puzzles and having them match numbers and the numeric symbol
• Using their chemistry set to create secondary colors or make colorful, simple chemical reactions
• Painting with brushes or finger painting
• Building with Playdoh and colored pasta
• Cooking

Meditation

There are three types of meditation I use in sequence.  

1. Heavy, fast breathing tires their minds and allows a chance to focus.  
2. Physical/mental scan through a guided meditation.
3. Visualization technique that includes pruning of being nice to siblings and other peers, listening to caretakers, and using manners

There are also some great sleep meditations for toddlers available on YouTube.  My kids like the world of Moshi.

EFT
Finally, Emotional Freedom Tapping therapy is one of my favorite easy techniques to get mindful, quickly.  Plus it’s really fun to watch toddlers tap.  Using pressure points, lightly, repeatedly tapping from the eyebrows, temples, cheekbones, chin, collar bone, shoulders, triceps, lap, sides of the shins, etc, allows one to quickly ground.  Children love to mimic so this is a perfect calming version of ‘Simon says.’

Teaching children methods to soothe and stay focus not only sets them up for success in the future, but both child and parent will also find they are building a better attachment and bond with each other.