Ways the World has Changed
On March 9th, I began to get concerned about the state of things. I was reading more and more about a certain rising issue that would be called a Pandemic about a week later and I grew concerned for my health and the health of my family.
The storm seemed to continue brewing and to take precautions I discussed options of working from home with my manager.
My request soon became a company-wide suggestion, a recommendation, and finally, a requirement. I was now working from home full-time. People had laughed at my caution, perhaps suggesting I was taking this too seriously, but a mom has a strong will to survive and protect her cubs.
The balance was a challenge at first, my children were at risk in the beginning and I had to scramble for care so that I could maintain a working schedule that allowed me to continue to be available. Fears crept, but there was no space for that. I have too much at stake and even more on my plate.
Now what?
Information was key. Information without inundation. I do not have time to worry about what will happen next but on the same token I want to know what I am dealing with so I can protect myself and assist the vulnerable members of my family from my toddlers to the elderly.
"Flatten the Curve" the experts kept saying. It took me a while to understand what that meant, but after having been a mom for almost half a decade and seeing kids pass colds along like it was a hacki-sak, I knew that physical distancing made the odds better for me and my family.
Now, the experts are saying that it could be working and that San Francisco Bay Area Cases are promising but that the worst is not over.
How then, do we respond to such a worldwide change?
People's Response
I have seen people react in different ways. Most with compassion and availability. Others with different responses, but understandably so. Questioning the circumstance is valid. Making sense of things is what we do as emotional beings and this pandemic is no different.
The temptation to point fingers could come naturally. Finding reasons to be grateful can seem like a reach, especially for some who have lost a family member or a colleague.
My hope is, no matter what the response, that there is someone to listen to, be available, and support. If not, perhaps taking the opportunity to support others may provide solace. What can we do?
Organizations and corporations have provided immediate support to protect their population and allowing access to work and connect remotely.
Protecting and Producing for Ourselves and Others
I have seen charts and graphs that show how physical distancing can save lives. Whether or not the time distancing was wasted is a question that uses energy that can be conserved for other things. Whether or not it is easy to admit a time like this is taxing on everyone.
Even my young children who do not know how to ask the questions express their frustration by being fussy, not eating, expressing boredom, asking about extended family, and yearning to watch videos. Their physical health is number one including mental health. More details about helping children cope will be published in a later blog including:
- Having a routine
- Introducing Meditation and Spiritual Practice
- Have them list their "Thank yous"
- Reminding them gently to use their manners by using manners with them
- Ensuring physical comfort
- Making everyday activities fun and special
Pressing upon the point of social distancing, doing everything that can be done to stay home is essential. It would be helpful to lean on grocery delivery, however as time goes on, finding delivery slots with grocery delivery services becomes increasingly challenging. Some helpful directions may include:
Being flexible. I have two young daughters who still depend on milk for both comfort and nutrition. Luckily, boxed milk is a good alternative to fresh milk. Mixing it for children can help them make the transition and be flexible between each kind. This makes it easier to stay home for a few weeks at a time when grocery delivery is not available.
Getting as many frozen things as possible and freezing the rest. Freezing vegetables, and meats, and purchasing frozen foods can both make eating at home easier and help assuring that food is available for longer.
Often times fruit and vegetables do not taste the same - getting creative and making a smoothie, or placing vegetables in dishes with sauce can help mitigate this change.
Interchanging non-perishables such as rice and pasta can help.
What about the elderly? If shopping for the elderly and providing for them, protecting one's self is essential. Better to be overly cautious and wear a mask and gloves than to take a risk or illicit unnecessarily anxiety over the possibility of risking exposure.
Emotions
It is easy to forget that the world has changed. Even with requirements to work from home, for some who may work from home regularly, essentially little to nothing has changed. For those who are used to going to the office, it can become very easy to quickly get used to the new schedule as people are resilient and able to adjust for the most part.
There is one aspect that can easily be neglected, and that is the perspective of the emotional response of self and others. These responses may look different for each person based on background, workload, circumstance, coping background, etc.
Being Supportive and Accepting Support
A few ways to provide support were mentioned above. Supporting children and aiding them in coping. Helping folks at risk and with pre-existing conditions.
This also goes along with protecting self and others. Be cautious while driving. Using an extra sense to read the room, the road, and the people around. This is a time more than ever that being conscious of the emotions of others can act as a method of survival and certainly a method of thriving during this difficult time.
Governor Newsom of California has provided resources for residents to reach out and not feel alone. He has even suggested reaching out to vulnerable populations and checking in with them.
Emotional responses can look like compassion, sadness, and vulnerability, but they can also look like anger, negging, gas-lighting, and bullying. It is important to maintain boundaries and be available as capability allows.
Being conscious of one's own emotions is crucial and self-care is more important than ever during times that cause an increased amount of stress.
Signs of Burnout
Stress has been briefly mentioned and change of circumstances may easily be part of the adjustment as regulations are consistently changing.
As a mother of two young children, I can attest to the challenge of balancing caring for children at home and even finding child care during this time, mitigating the risk, and ensuring a level of balance and ability to work.
Working from home may also not allow for the same rigid routine as being in the office and having office hours may allow. With video conferencing, retrieving emails on the smartphone, and having a majority of the office productivity suite on the phone as well means that it is easier to smudge the lines and have work and family time impede on each other. It is valid to feel a level of stress from multi-tasking and want to provide a sense of normalcy for children, especially while schools are closed.
It is important to know what to ask for help and have contingency plans when possible. At the very least, recognizing burnout can reduce further stress from not understanding what is happening.
Signs of burnout can include but are not limited to:
- Feelings of being overwhelmed
- Fatigue
- Anxiety around the events
- A feeling of "dropping the ball"
- Skipping meals
- Poor eating habits
- Not enjoying meals
- Memory issues
- Spacing out
Luckily, a lot of medical resources include phone appointments, advice nurses, and other distant services. Utilizing these can be the difference between burnout and carrying on, even if it is not at the top-level of productivity that is desired.
Productivity
I have seen and heard many suggestions and examples of different levels of productivity during this time. New craft efforts, increased career-related efforts, planning a vacation, homeschooling children, and learning to cook new things. These are all excellent ways to spend the quarantine time. Sharing these accomplishments is even better: inspiring and fun to share.
Planning a vacation or getaway for after the restrictions are lifted can provide a sense of excitement and something to look forward to. It allows an opportunity to look visualize a level of new normal, especially for those who love to travel or those with young children who are asking about going somewhere else. Vacations are excellent bonding opportunities for families. Planning vacations and visualizing those vacations have an extremely similar cognitive impact. Essentially planning a visualizing a vacation is a mini-vacation in itself.
It is also OK to learn about oneself during this time. Starting a meditation practice, readying philosophy, and being available for oneself can be just as productive as tangible projects and planning. Doing research on health that perhaps is not completely urgent. Figuring out if there are any vitamins or supplements that may increase health vibrancy. Self-care is a very productive endeavor. Finding healthy ways to feel good and build mastery even in small ways can help build self-esteem. Being in a place of gratitude during a time like this is not intuitive, but being thankful for what is available is possible. Making a list, having a thank-you party with the kids, and acting from a place of gratitude is a slow but ample way to get into a healthy mindset.
Dismissing toxicity within self and others and not taking things too personally can also help during this time. Staying in the now and learning to be mindful through each moment not only helps navigate a crisis but is excellent practice in general as modern philosophers such as Ekhart Tolle suggests. The concepts are also deep and can be fun to think about.
How do we work from home if it is not something we are used to? Going into this knowing it does not have to be, nor will it be perfect. It is OK to mourn what was. A perfectly orchestrated ergonomic setup, office decorations, and real-life connections with colleagues, these are all valid things to process.
- Having a designated area for working can help provide a mindset of productivity.
- Having a daily routine can also help to train ourselves to be productive at certain times. Taking breaks, being regular, and eating lunch are all just as important now as any other time.
- Checking the calendar the night before and the morning of. This provides a sense of security in knowing what is coming and what can be prioritized.
- Keeping in touch regularly and effectively. Communication is more important than ever, Asking questions, being available, and providing resources if a question has the one answering stumped.
These are, needless to say, unprecedented times. Self-care is the cornerstone of coping, supporting, being productive, and adjusting to this new world that seems to have changed overnight. Heads are floating just above the water and everyone has been impacted. In a time as technologically advanced as this information and resources are at the fingertips of those who reach them.
